Life After-Part Twelve

It took a few hours for Erik to come back to the medical ward. Clarissa had wanted him to stay around just to ask about Storm. As her file wasn't widely available it was Clarissa's only opportunity to learn anything about the fighter. Erik had told Clarissa what he knew which wasn't much. The fighters were notorious for not filling out forms on time and when they were filled out they had grammatical and spelling errors, used multiple languages which hadn't been spoken for hundreds of years, and used slang terms which only fighters understood. It was a trial trying to get anything out of them. Clarissa's file was much better kept but it was sparse. There were whole years missing from it, especially psychiatric and physical examinations. Still, Erik tried to tell Clarissa what he knew without telling her much at all. It achieved something. Clarissa had told him that Storm could come back in after a few days and they could try again. This time she would make up a real test of Storm's ability as a strategist and Clarissa would be able to make a decision of some weight.
"She's really crazy about this," Erik said, gesturing with his free hand.
The other hand held a cup of coffee, his third of the day. Caffeine addiction was well on its way to making an impression in Erik's life but he didn't much care. He had only lived through college by staying up late and then drinking three cups of coffee throughout the morning. Now was no different, only the cups of coffee were scattered throughout the day. This only occasionally led to him being unable to fall asleep and instead looking through people's files and then trying to hide that he had looked through them.
"Did you ask her why she hadn't come in?" Rebeka asked. "Because I'm really wondering. It's kind of suspicious. Maybe she's a criminal."
"Clarissa? I doubt it. I don't think that she would be able to commit a crime without splashing her name all over it. And I forgot to ask. Well, I didn't forget. I didn't want to ask. Clarissa would've kicked me out. I really want Storm to get in to strategy. It'll give her something to do other than stay around here and...complain. How is she?"
"I don't know. She wants to get back in the fight and she really can't. It'll hurt her even more. If she goes back in then it's a certainty that she'll have to get her leg amputated. None of us want that. I'm going to talk to Randall later about finding anger management techniques for her."
"They tried back in training. There's a bit of a note about that in her file," Erik said. "You should tell Randall to look at that. It's got some good advice about getting Storm to manage her anger. Mostly don't try to get Storm to manage her anger. It won't work. At least, not very well and not for very long. They tried."
"How long ago was this?" Rebeka asked. "Maybe she's changed since then."
"I don't know. They aren't very good at putting dates in the file. It was before she turned fifteen because they stop training then. So she was probably eleven or twelve."
"We can try. I'll make sure that Randall looks at her file to see what they tried and hope he has the sense to try something different."
"He should. And we can tell him if he tries something that's in there," Erik said. "Storm'll tell him, anyway. But she might not be that gentle about it."
"He can deal with a bit of criticism here and there. Maybe not too much. I don't want to break his ego into bits. Just bring it down a bit."
"Well, he's the specialist in that sort of thing, right?"
"No. He's just the specialist in surgery. I'm the general practitioner. We had a therapist on this deck. He got killed pretty soon after the rebellion started."
Erik was quiet for a moment.
"Did you know him well?" he asked.
"Flint? No. I barely knew him. We met briefly. When he died all of his files got transferred to me."
Erik was quiet again.
"...Yeah. Is there one on another deck?"
"I don't know," she said. "I haven't had enough time to take a good look at the casualty reports. I know. I spend all of this time sitting around and talking to you or Storm or Tomas when I could be trying to find these things out."
"You need some time off. I have time to look through that."
"You need to get some sleep."
"So do you," Erik said. "And I got a full night's sleep last night. I'll stay here until Randall gets here. He'll kick you out of med ward and I'll bring him up to speed on Storm."
"He can look at the sheets for everyone else. We're a lot better about that sort of thing than fighters."
"Yeah. Fighters aren't much good at that. I don't know. It's like they don't want them to be able to get along outside of the squads." He shrugged, sighing. "It's really not her fault."
"Not entirely. She's stubborn as anything. It would be a lot easier for her to adjust to this normal life if she wasn't so stubborn."
"That's another fighter thing."
"I've seen other fighters. The green squad leader. Snowfall. He's not like Storm. Not after they both settled down enough to have a civil conversation. He tried to talk to her. I haven't seen Storm voluntarily try and talk to me or anyone. Maybe we should get him back in here when Randall tries to do anger management. It might help some."
"And I'll have to go and ask him."
"You are supposed to be looking after her. You're a civilian. He won't try and kill you."
"I haven't gotten to look in his file. I don't know if he's tried to kill anyone before."
"He probably hasn't," Rebeka said. "But if he has and he tries to kill you and you get put in here then it'll be my fault. You can blame it on me. Because it won't happen."
Erik leaned back in his chair.
"I hope that you're right about that," he said. "It's bad enough having Storm threatening to kill me without having anyone else trying to kill me. I really didn't think that I'd end up doing this when I started school. I really didn't. And....Well. I won't be able to tell my parents about this for a while."
"We'll get back home. We've got fuel for it. And they probably would've sent a few more important people along if we were supposed to be adding to the colony."
He gave Rebeka a funny look.
"Important people?" he asked. "Aren't we all kind of important? Maybe not in the grand scheme of things, but to someone everyone's important. Or used to be important. Or will be important. It's one of those things. And they don't send world leaders on colony missions. Because they might die and that would be bad."
"They would send someone with training in leadership."
"The captain has some."
"Erik? How do you know that? Rebeka asked.
"Because...he's my uncle. I've heard about his education. You know how sometimes people with genetic engineering will go around comparing genes? We do that but with education. 'I have training in geothermal energy!' 'Well, I have training in satellite repairs.' 'Well, I'm a licensed masseuse.' It gets weird really fast. There are only so many important fields. Fields that, you know, keep people from dying or the Earth from exploding and things like that. Being a masseuse isn't really one of those fields. I mean, I don't even think just being a spare like me is all that important. I guess that since I'm looking after Storm and making sure that she doesn't kill anyone that's kind of important. But it's not worldwide important."
"Which was my point with the people. It's people who are going to be worldwide important who have to be there in colonies. I don't think anyone has training dealing with money. Real money. I know the strategists probably have economic system simulations or something like that, but I mean people like accountants. People with leadership like I said. Teachers. And we would've been given embryos."
"Embryos?"
"You know. The pre-fetus."
"I know what an embryo is. Why would we have them on the colony ship? I mean, I know that they would want the colony to grow, but it would be nice for them to let people, you know...."
"Breed?"
"Yeah. Breed. On their own."
"They would have the genetic sequences for the next generation. In the first generation you need teachers and leaders and some techs and farmers. In the second generation you need people who are going to want the colony to spread across the planet. People with ambition. It won't do any good if the colony just stays in one place, right?"
"We've found the ambition gene?" Erik asked.
"Not exactly, no. There are specific instructions with each embryo so that they're raised right."
"Like with fighters."
"I guess it's a bit like with fighters."
"This genetic system is messed up. I can see why my parents wanted no part in it."
"What? What's wrong with it?"
"We're brainwashing small children so that they grow up to meet the expectation of some board in some room! What's not wrong with that? I know that the genes have a lot to do with it, but how they're raised is pretty important. The fighters go through a lot of conditioning. I know that. Probably the most conditioning out of everyone, right? But you're brainwashed, too. I know it's probably for the better in your case. But still."
It was now Rebeka's turn to quiet and think. Erik hoped that she was thinking over his points. After long family arguments at reunions where the spares and the genetically engineered of the family would take sides and then debate he had learned of the evils of genetic engineering. Since his parents fully expected him to take their side, he didn't listen to the genetically engineered. When he had gone to Oxford and had taken classes about genetic engineering and some of the processes that turned doctors into doctors or fighters into fighters he had learned a bit more about the system. The professor had brought him around to understand that not all of it was evil. A lot of it wasn't very good but some of it was necessary. The old systems where people would learn a bunch of irrelevant knowledge and then choose a career that didn't fit them because of money or because they hadn't done enough work in a particular subject weren't good either. At least this way people were basically brainwashed to like what they did even if it was menial work. Someone had to collect the garbage and work in the sewage treatment plants. A lot of the work was done by robots, but the AI still wasn't very good. They couldn't do anything more complicated than lift and place. A lot of the technology had been destroyed in the war. The areas that had been targeted most were the ones with the most technology. Things like commercial space flight had been easier to rediscover. There were colonies which had been untouched by the schism that had led to several nuclear attacks but they had formed their own coalition and had decided to have no contact with Earth. From what the satellites could tell they were doing fine.
"Maybe we were brainwashed just a bit," she said. "But not anything near the fighters."
"I know," Erik said. "I wasn't saying that. You're brainwashed to believe the Hippocratic Oath with your whole being. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, either. I'm just saying that it happened. If this gets out of control then we could have...well, the fighters. Just without the constraints put on them. If someone decides to go ahead and start engineering fighters with no limits then we might have another war."
"Don't the people who do the engineering get screened?"
"Yeah. They do. That's what's stopping them. They get screened a lot more regularly than anyone else. Clarissa for instance. because she's not exactly sane."
"What's crazy about her?"
"Little things? I don't know. She wants to have complete control of strategy. I mean, I don't blame her much for that. It's good to be in control of your group. But complete?"
"I don't know. I'd have to get her in here to really say for sure. She should be my patient but she's not. I'd know if I evaluated her."
Randall knocked on the wall outside before entering.
"Gab session, ladies?" he asked.
"We were talking about things," Erik said. "A lot of things. We get sidetracked. Well, I get sidetracked and Rebeka comes along for the ride. And since you're here that means...."
Rebeka stood up.
"I know," she said. 'I have to stop worrying and go to sleep."
"I'll do fine here," Randall said. "Go off. Sleep well. Don't worry."
They hugged briefly and kissed for a split second before Rebeka walked out and Randall took her seat.
"So what's been going on here?" he asked.
"Not a lot. She said you could look at the charts," Erik said. "And I have to fill you in on Storm. She went to strategy today. And things kind of failed. Well, not failed. they didn't go well. Not because of Storm. But a few things went not as Clarissa wanted them to. So Storm left. She'll get another chance in a few days. Basically whenever Clarissa decides she wants to which could be anytime between now and...I don't know. Never, I guess. But Rebeka wants Storm to learn some anger management between now and then. So she doesn't kill anyone. Because she might be posing a danger to the safety of everyone else. They tried back in training and it didn't work too well so you should look in her file to see if they mention anything. And Rebeka also said that you might want to look into Snowfall coming in and helping out? I don't know. I guess to keep Storm calm. But he might not be the best choice. I have to go and ask him if he'll sit in and if he won't who will."
"All I have to do is find techniques, right?"
"Yeah. That's it. We're dealing with everything else. Well. Mostly me."
"Counting backwards."
"I think they tried that. And it didn't work very well. Mostly what seems to work for fighters is letting them fight."
"We really can't do that."
"I don't think so. Not like she could back in squads. There's a training room, but she might not want to go there. I don't know. I haven't talked to her about it at all so I don't know how she feels about it. It's kind of hard to tell even if she is telling you."
Randall nodded.
"I've gotten a bit of that from her," he said. "There's not a whole lot that we can do about it, though."
"We can ask her to stop. I don't think that'll work, though."
Randall smiled and nudged his shoulder.
"Lighten up some," he said. "She'll be fine. I've gone through this with some other fighters."
"The ones that aren't dead are fine now?"
"I wouldn't call them fine. They're alive. It's hard, getting them to adjust. One of them is doing pretty well."
"Out of how many?"
"Fifteen. That's including Storm."
"How many are dead?"
Randall looked down at his hands.
"Seven. Three of those were assisted suicide. They got someone from their squad to come in and kill them," he said. "And I was too late. All seven times."
"I....I'm sorry really doesn't work."
"You don't have to say anything. I know what you mean."
"Out of eight who are alive one is doing okay?"
"Yeah. Three managed to get back into their squad. They seem to be doing okay. I haven't talked to any of them but I think they might send me a note if one of them died."
"What about the other four?"
"One is Storm. One's in a coma. One decided to go back home. I think he's still there. And one went out and got another job. She became a teacher."
"A fighter as a teacher? How'd that work out?"
"Not too bad. He teaches physical education. From what I've heard from his students he runs them pretty hard. But they love him. They like seeing fighters. Kids."
"Yeah....It's like burning buildings. Everyone gathers around to watch it burn to the ground," Erik said. "Maybe it's like that."
"No. It's more that it's funny to have a teacher who shouts at you in Norse to hurry up and start doing pushups. He tells them about things he did when he was a real fighter."
"What happened to him?"
"He lost his left arm from the elbow up. He could've gotten a prosthetic but he didn't want to. I asked him. I asked him over and over again if he wanted to get a prosthetic. That if he got one that he might be able to get back into squads. He didn't want something artificial like that."
"Was he left handed?"
"Yeah. He learned how to shoot with the other but there are two handed weapons that he couldn't fire. He really didn't want a prosthetic. I tried to give him one and he threw it across the room. Right across the room."
"Think Storm'll be like that?"
"What? If she gets her leg amputated? Don't worry about it. She won't get her leg amputated. It's doing fine."
"It's not doing fine," Erik said. "She's still in pain."
"The acid is still there. If it's contained then we're okay and we can start getting rid of it. Then we can do tissue and bone grafts and get her leg working as good as new. We'll have to start skin grafts on her stomach soon. That worked fine. It was a smaller wound and we got to it sooner. And we can give her stronger meds. She just doesn't want them."
"Was that the same with the others?"
"Other fighters? Some of them wanted everything I could give them. some of them refused even a bit. Most of them went like Storm. They take as much as I can give them as long as they're aware of what's going on. That's important to them."
"It's important to most people. I'd want to know what was going on." Erik took a swig of his now cold coffee. "At least with me."
"Some people just want to be better. They don't want all of the nitty gritty medical talk. They don't want charts or diagrams telling them that if they aren't better in x days that they'll never be better."
"And if they don't get better?"
"If they don't then they just want to be made comfortable for as long as possible. There's not a whole lot we can do in that situation. Like with Tomas. We're doing all we can for him and it just hasn't been enough."
"I don't think I know what happened to him."
"He got hit by a lot of acid. He's not even a fighter. He just wandered into the line of fire. We tried to help him out and sent him back to his quarters. Then he wandered out again. That's why there are barriers up now. I don't want to see another case like his. It's one thing for the fighters. They might not be used to this but at least this is what they're for. Tomas is supposed to learn information and then give it to people who need it in tiny chunks. There were some technical manuals for some of the equipment and they thought he might be useful. I don't even know if he'll be alive by the time we get there. If he is I don't think he'll be able to explain anything."
Erik took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"God," he said. "Seriously. What is going on here? This sort of thing isn't supposed to happen, is it? People aren't supposed to just...die."
"Tomas isn't just dying."
"But he wasn't doing anything wrong! And now he's going to die."
"Everyone dies eventually. Even people who weren't doing anything wrong. I've seen patients who were wonderful people. Not just fighters. They were out there trying to teach kids who's engineering had gone wrong or making sure everyone got enough food and they ended up in my medical ward. It's hard."
"At least you have training for that."
"We get training but that doesn't prepare us for it," Randall said. "Some of the other fighters talked about getting their first kill. It's a shock to most of them. You know? 'That's what killing someone's like?' And then they have to spend the rest of their life doing that unless they die. It's hard for some of them."
"Not Storm."
"You haven't talked to her about that, have you? Ask her about her first kill. Ask her what she did afterwards. You might be surprised at what you find out about her. Not all fighters are tough all the way through. Most of them aren't. A lot of them just have this front because of all this time they spent trying to not feel. Talk to Snowfall. Go. I'll be fine here. I'll keep a special eye on Storm for you. She won't die while I'm here."
"Thank you."